And I could really care less.
Today's Title: American Idiot (Yes, it is a musical.)
Hello again. :) Just me, musing late at night. And what do you know, it's not even angsty. Just contemplative.
So, been perusing reddit and looking at a particular new-ish meme: Idiot Nerd Girl. Now, the thing that got me thinking actually wasn't the particular group it's targeting, which (believe me) I find as annoying as the next person since I know some people like that. (I just realized that was a terrible sentence grammatically and substantially, but bear with me. It's not like anyone else reads this anyhow so I don't know why I bother amending my grammatical issues.) What got me thinking was what it means to be a nerd.
I have before expressed that, like Hank and John, I feel what makes a person a nerd isn't what they like, but the degree to which they like it. Yet, there seems to be a bit of falsehood in this belief. There is undoubtedly some unspoken idea of what you must enjoy to be a true nerd. But, on that same idea, those things aren't things that you consciously decide to like. It just sort of happens. Or, at least, that's what it feels like to me. I mean, I never woke up one morning and decided I was gonna be a nerd because it was the "cool" thing to do. I've always been this way. Maybe it's genetic, but it is far more likely that it is cultural. I grew up on Star Trek and Atari 5200 and DOS and shit like that. I don't think I ever knew how not to be a nerd. Yet, compared to many people I know, my childhood is considered fairly "un-nerdy." I mean, I didn't like pokemon. I didn't read comics. I didn't have an N64. Yet, I still associate most strongly with the nerd culture. Upon reflection, I think that in order to be a nerd, or at least to inherently be interested in the traditionally nerdy things, you need to have certain characteristics.
Firstly, and arguably most importantly, you seem to need to be obsessive to a certain degree. Every nerd I know obsesses like there is no tomorrow. Doesn't really matter what they obsess over, it just matters that they do. When you take the time to track down an entire discography of a band, read every book that an author has written, watch every movie that an actor has been in or every episode of a show ever made, collect every bit of paraphernalia you can find... this makes you a nerd, if only for that one thing you obsess over. If you obsess over everything you like to this degree then you, my friend, just might be a nerd.
Secondly, there is the imagination. I find that people who identify as nerds do so because the interests that are generally considered nerdy are great outlets for the imagination. Video games and books. Role playing games. Art. Hell, even fanfiction. There is some desperate need to be something greater than yourself. To experience pure escapism. Maybe this comes from a childhood of not fitting in, but I'll leave that up to the psychologists. Point being that sci-fi and fantasy are veritable breeding grounds for the imagination.
Last, but not least, all the nerds I know have to have reached the point where they just DGAF. Let's face it, we do what we do because we like it. We don't stop because other people think it's weird. We don't start because other people think it's cool. We just reached the point where other people's opinions (I mean, apart from the obvious. We still care what our friends and family think. We aren't complete heathens.) just don't matter anymore. And it doesn't bother us one bit.
Hi, my name is Paige and I am a nerd. I don't think of myself as a "nerd girl" because it shouldn't matter that I am a girl at all. I am a nerd because that's how I am. I am happy with who I am and how I am. I would rather spend my Saturday nights playing D&D than going to a club. I would rather spend my money on a PS3 than booze to party. I would rather read a book than play a sport. I want to go on a road trip because I think it would be a fine adventure, not to see particular sights and feel refined. I enjoy studying science because it makes me feel so very wonderful and small, not because it will make me a lot of money in the future (though that's always a plus ;)). I live in my mind, inventing stories and occasionally being philosophical. I'm not the best or the smartest or the prettiest or anything at all. I'm just happy. And that's all that I aim to be.
Goodnight, everyone. Think peaceful thoughts tonight.
And there's nothing wrong with me.
This is how I'm supposed to be.
In a land of make believe
That don't believe in me.
